’’’’’’’’’APOSTROPHE
ALERT’’’’’’’’’
àTo find out more about when to use—and not to
use—the apostrophe, and examples of mistakes people make, please visit the The
Apostrophe Protection Society: http://www.apostrophe.fsnet.co.uk/
Most people have
terrible problems with the apostrophe. We never cease to wonder at this, for
the rules here are pretty straightforward. Moreover, it’s harder to understand
a text where the appropriate rules are not observed. Lastly, this is one easy way of separating good writers from
others. So, if you are a lousy apostropher, please, please, read the following
and, for the next few weeks, ask yourself while you edit your work: Did I
follow the simple rules for the use of the apostrophe?
We must begin with
plurals. In English we say:
One boy / two boys
One lady / five
ladies
One kiss / one
million kisses
We must next move
third person singular verbs: She sings;
he twists and shouts; it purrs,
Note the ABSENCE of
any apostrophe whatsoever above. We simply add an s, or a ies, or es—nothing
more: 5 bozos; she walks.
But, unlike Spanish
or Hebrew, English has a wonderful way of saying that something belongs to
someone.
First, let’s look
up the etymology, and learn how to pronounce and spell, apostrophe
at: http://m-w.com/
Here is how we use
it:
Hat of the boy = The
boy’s hat
The daughter of Don
= Don’s daughter
The praise of the
Dalai Lama = The Dalai Lama’s praise
The e-mail of
everybody = Everybody’s e-mail
But what do we do
when we wish to say that something belongs to more than one person or object?
It’s the same rule, but here we must remember that the s is part of the word,
so the apostrophe appears on the right:
The hat of the boys
= The boys’ hat
The hobbies of the
dogs = The dogs’ hobbies
The trip of the
vets = the vets’ trip
Profiles of
students = Students’ profiles
English has another
great invention, relying on the apostrophe:
contractions: I don’t (do not); it’s (it is) up to you; I won’t (will
not) do it.
That’s (almost) all
there is to it. We do use apostrophes for possessives (Donna’s nose) and contractions
(Donna doesn’t have a nose). We don’t
use them for plurals (5 noses) and third person singular verbs (Donna
talks). Now, do you really want to go
on botching something that simple for the rest of your life, or are you willing
to take a hard look at these rules, and conscientiously apply them to your work
until they become second nature?
OK, study these
rules for a while with your neighbors.
Now, you know that in some places they have a national poet. Here in Michigan, we even have the State
Troubadour (who is it? You don’t know
who it is—in that case, let’s listen to him--http://www.neilwoodward.com/sound/mp3/peacechant.mp3!). So, now we’re going to ask you a few
questions, asking you to decide whether an apostrophe is called for, and, if
so, where. We’ll work it out as a
competition, and the winner will henceforth receive the official title of Class
Apostropher.
A curtsey is being
contemplated, but has not yet been officially decided upon.
Sounds: Way off
All Wrong Pitching