The following humorous (we hope) piece is from "The Compleat Computer" by Dennie Van Tassel, pub by Science Research Associates 1976.

Daily Surveillance Sheet, 1987 From a Nationwide Data Bank

National Data Bank
DAILY SURVEILLANCE SHEET
CONFIDENTIAL
July 9, 1987
SUJECT: DENNIE VAN TASSEL
  UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA
  SANTA CRUZ, CALF.
  MALE
  AGE 38
  MARRIED
  PROGRAMMER
PUCHASES:
  WALL STREET JOURNAL        .25
  BREAKFAST                 2.50
  GASOLINE                  6.00
  PHONE (328-1826)           .15
  PHONE (308-7928)           .15
  PHONE (421-1931)           .15
  BANK (CASH WITHDRAWAL) (120.00)
  LUNCH                     3.50
  COCKTAIL                  1.50
  LINGERIE                 26.95
  PHONE (369-2436)           .35
  BOURBON                  11.40
  NEWSPAPER                  .25

***** COMPUTER ANALYSIS *****

OWNS STOCK (90 PERCENT PROBABILITY)

HEAVY STARCH BREAKFAST. PROBABLY OVERWEIGHT.

BOUGHT 6.00 GASOLINE. OWNS VW. SO FAR THIS WEEK HAS BOUGHT 14.00 WORTH OF GASOLINE. OBVIOUSLY DOING SOMETHING BESIDES DRIVING 9 MILES TO WORK.

BOUGHT GASOLINE AT 7:57. SAFE TO ASSUME HE WAS LATE TO WORK.

PHONE NO. 328-1826 BELONGS TO SHADY LANE. SHADY WAS ARRESTED FOR BOOKMAKING IN 1975.

PHONE NO. 308-7928. EXPENSIVE MEN'S BARBER - SPECIALIZES IN BALD MEN OR HAIR STYLING.

PHONE NO. 421-1931. RESERVATIONS FOR LAS VEGAS (WITHOUT WIFE). THIRD TRIP THIS YEAR TO LAS VEGAS (WITHOUT WIFE). WILL SCAN FILE TO SEE IF ANYONE ELSE HAS GONE TO LAS BEGAS AT THE SIME TIME AND COMPARE TO HIS PHONE NUMBERS.

WITHDREW 120.00 DOLLARS CASH. VERY UNUSUAL SINCE ALL LEGAL PURCHASES CAN BE MADE USING THE NATIONAL SOCIAL SECURITY CREDIT CARD. CASH USUALLY ONLY USED FOR ILLEGAL PURCHASES. IT WAS PREVIOUSLY RECOMMENDED THAT ALL CASH BE OUTLAWED AS SOON AS IT BECOMES POLITICALLY POSSIBLE.

DRINKS DURING HIS LUNCH.

BOUGHT VERY EXPENSIVE LINGERIE. NOT HIS WIFE'S SIZE.

PHONE NO. 369-2436. MISS SWEET LOCKS.

PURCHASED EXPENSIVE BOTTLE OF BOURBON. HE HAS PURCHASED 5 BOTTLES OF BOURBON IN THE LAST 30 DAYS. EITHER HEAVY DRINKER OR MUCH ENTERTAINING.

***** OVERALL ANALYSIS *****

LEFT WORK EARLY AT 4:00, SINCE HE PURCHASED BOURBON 1 MILE FROM HIS JOB AT 4:10 (OPPOSITE DIRECTION FROM HIS HOME).

BOUGHT NEWSPAPER AT 6:30 NEAR HIS HOUSE. UNACCOUNTABLE 2.5 HOURS. MADE 3 PURCHASES TODAY FROM YOUNG BLONDES. (STATISTICAL 1 CHANCE IN 78.) THEREFORE PROBABLY HAS WEAKNESS FOR YOUNG BLONDES.